1. Find an old door (a long time ago already)
2. Put it in a corner of the spare room and forget about it for a long time.
3. Suddenly remember the door and get the urge to do something with it. Carry it from the spare room to the patio, not realising how heavy it is. Put your back out. Spend the next three days lying on your back, swallowing Coxiflam, and decide you hate the f*$#ing door and never want to see it again.
4. Months later: take the wrong turn-off from the N2 one day on the way home from Milnerton and so drive past a vintage furniture shop in Salt River that you didn’t know existed.
5. Visit the shop immediately. See that much of what is being sold is revamped old stuff, and remember the blasted door and think about how nice it could look.
6. Be realistic and accept that you will not be the one to make it look nice because you never seem to have enough time. Also you swore never to touch it again.
7. Ask Rob to put the door in the car and go back to the shop and ask JP and Gerald to do their thing.
8. Go back when JP phones to say your door is ready. Take cash and Rob.
9. Get the door home. Allow Rob to put it up on the wall.
10. Be as happy with it as if it was all your own work.