WARNING: Avoid moving house when you need to be more productive than usual.
I’ve reached the stage where I would go so far as to say Avoid moving house altogether, but sometimes moving is a good thing, and if the opportunity presents itself you can go along with it without too much disruption to work or mental equilibrium. (Okay, okay, we all know that that was a Big Fat Lie. I’m a terrible liar.)
But if you cannot circumvent the warning above, LIKE ME, here are some tips on preventing things from being most horrible:
- When you have packed a box in the old house, write its contents on the top as legibly as possible. A rough scribble can be hard to decipher at a rushed time when the movers are speeding in and out of the new house ….
- Make your bed as soon as you can. At the end of moving day, when you are exhausted and in the foulest of moods, you will be overjoyed to fall into your familiar old cocoon of blankies and pillows. And if you can locate the hot water bottle and keep it near the kettle, then you fall into the SuperMover category and earn extra points.*
- Do not allow yourself to be tempted to do just one little thing in the new house, because once you start you won’t be able to stop. And then you can say goodbye to the fantastic notion of getting all your stock ready in time for Grahamstown. For example, the brass letter slot on the front door that is going to be so lovely and shiny when you’ve stripped off all the paint? … WALK AWAY FROM THE BRASS.
- Do not think about cooking, you don’t have time. If there’s someone around you who will cook, then count your lucky stars. Otherwise, be happy with peanut butter on toast or get in touch with Mr Delivery.
- Don’t try and unpack all your work-related boxes at once. You can’t sew, screenprint and crochet at the same time, so focus on one thing and stick with it until it’s done. It’s just taken me twice as long to get 30 beanies ready for an order (because of constant interruptions relating to plumber, agent, builder, electrician, cupboard man, painter, security people, conveyancing attorneys, electronic gate people, new neighbours, moving shock etc etc) but now that it’s finally in the post, I can give my full attention to the 360 pillowcases waiting for me. Try not to make yourself crosser with yourself than you already are by having chosen to move house in the first place.
- If someone offers you a tranquiliser, don’t try and be tough. Say thanks and swallow it immediately. It might slow you down a bit, but more haste less speed, right?
- If someone offers to help – it’s similar to #6 above: don’t try and be tough, say thanks and show them how to thread a needle or iron a stack of pillow cases.
- Remind yourself that you aren’t SuperWoman. It’s times like these that you feel more like SuperCretin, actually, but you’re not that either – you simply bit off more than you could chew. Just keep going – it’s not like you have a choice!
* Any and all points you award yourself can be saved up and spent in a single splurge at the local bottle store. There’s a crate of Tanqueray I have my eye on…