in my face

The first time I was at the Made in the Cape artisan market in Cavendish, my stand was positioned in front of Wolf Jewellers. Not only could I not afford a single thing in the shop even if I sold my house, my body and my mother, I had this arrogant son-of-a-gun in my face for four days in a row admonishing me not to crack under pressure. Easy for you to say, dude.

crack

Last week’s one was worse. I had to stare at this woman for four days:

bikini

Surely they’d sell more stuff if the models looked like real-life humans, that the rest of us could actually identify with? Oh wait, stupid me – if I buy that bikini, I will look just like her.  I will be her, in fact – young, firm, tanned and sexy with a visible space between my taut thighs, on my way to join the arrogant pointy man from the jewellers for a dry martini at the exclusive bar that overlooks Sydney’s Bondi beach. And I won’t even have to pay for it myself. Which is just as well because the bikini alone wasn’t cheap, let alone the cost of the ticket to Australia….

13 thoughts on “in my face

  1. katechiconi

    Noooo! You can’t disrespect the lovely Liam Hemsworth, one of Australia’s most attractive exports! Dunno who bikini woman is, but she doesn’t deserve Liam…

    Reply
      1. katechiconi

        Ah well, to each her own. I *might* have sat there enjoying him saying “you’re mine, baby, yes, you! Get lost, bikini babe, I’m with quilt woman here”.

      2. Nice Piece of Work Post author

        I know, I’m funny that way. He’s too pretty and far too young for me. I feel the same way about Ryan Gosling and Jude Law. Would rather have Tommy Lee Jones or Clint Eastwood any day!

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